Moleman's Epic Rap Battles 41: David Xanatos Vs Slade
by MolemanNineThousand
Summary: Exactly what the title says... for once. Part 1 of a triple-feature. See the VIDEO at: /watch?v abr0JuD31Zg


**VIDEO:** watch?v=abr0JuD31Zg

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 **MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!**

 **SLADE…**

 **…** **VS…**

 **…** **DAVID XANATOS!**

 **BEGIN!**

 **David Xanatos:**  
Exactly per my plan, I'm repping Disney's darkest small-screen opus,  
Where, unlike the dopes from _Hunchback_ , _our_ Gargoyles are the _dopest_!  
Foxy ladies look to me as leader of the Pack, for real;  
The only times I'm the red: while sporting solid stacks of steel!  
Don't even bother if the taking of Manhattan's what you covet,  
For you think you're Jason Voorhees, yet you're closer to a Muppet!  
Owen knows that I don't give a Puck about mere whims, shortsighted;  
To the league I'm in, just like the Brotherhood, you aren't invited!  
Watch me terminate you faster than those censors did your alias,  
'Cause even Trump thinks your "Apprentice" program is the craziest!  
The grinder of your gears, and not just those up in your hideout,  
Stopping you stone-cold right in your tracks, regardless of the light out!  
Ask Lex Luthor if he knows me, you half-vantablack-masked hack,  
And also: Doctor Doom just called for you; he wants his robots back!  
Though I've brought castles past the clouds, you'll never rise above my level;  
You'd be nothing but a skeleton without your pal, the Devil!

 **Slade:**  
So you think I've got an evil mind? _Indeed_. I'll tell you, David:  
Walking barefoot into Hell's what facing Slade is.  
Be a Weisman and relent; your game's a sucker's like revenge.  
Defeat-ensured, you're cursed; you'll never break me in a thousand ages,  
Because this is war, and war… _war never changes_.  
TV Tropes calls you a Gambit-ace like Remy with his cards,  
But cast your stone at this Goliath, and it's _you_ who's falling hard.  
Your enterprises money-maxed, more green's on you than any Changeling,  
But I'm Haunting; an undying nightmare from which there's no Awakening!  
Though best-known for ass-kicking in a clash of teenage jerkoffs,  
Your attacks on wack past-blasts, I'll also match; check me in _Turok_!  
Get it through your Cinderblock: I'll Overload you 'til your brains are Plasma,  
Boiling your blood; I hit the mark with every Skathing stanza!  
But one-tenth my brain could still outdo your dirty tricks,  
'Cause I'm a one-in-seven-billion; you're a one-in-thirty-six!  
Your little club should have Illuminated you to what's in store:  
When my contract's fulfilled, you'll draw breath, quoth the Raven, nevermore,  
And though to drag that broad through mud is Terra's job, don't be forgetting  
How I did to her birthday what Walder did to Tully's wedding!  
Follow daddy's lead: find other fish to fry out in the sea;  
Like Plankton, I'll thwart your whole alphabet of plans, from A to Z!

 **David Xanatos:**  
It's lyrical speed chess, you pawn, and I'm preparing for checkmate here;  
Know Macbeth agrees: my words could pass for something out of Shakespeare!  
Fully-bearded from the start, I'll grow from there until unrivaled:  
They're alive, my raps; _alive_! All yours are cold-dead-on-arrival.  
Any message you have left for me is going undelivered  
When my verbal volley, Wilson, Casts Away your ass forever!  
Doctor Light became a joke, but they made _you_ into a rapist;  
Zone-tan had her work cut out, your bad touch vibes were so outrageous.  
Don't be shocked, but you're the quarry on whom I'll soon drop the hammer,  
Hatefully as any Klansman; you'll be permanently shattered!  
Was _Goliath Chronicles_ a mess? Though "yes" may be the answer,  
At least we didn't all mutate into some chibi network-cancer!

 **Slade:**  
Guess you're going for a gambit of the _Thanatos_ variety,  
For once you dare to _Go_ there, things can _only_ turn out violently.  
Your threats are as authentic as the "you" in _Future Tense_ :  
I see through them like Robin's Red X getup; takes no super sense.  
With those "New" Titans' mass-malignment, I wouldn't _wish_ them harrowed worse;  
That's why I no-showed my so-called "Return" and joined the Arrowverse!  
You face a fiend more fly than your backwards Bizarro-bastard, stoked  
To send you far from Avalon with his most deadly master-stroke!

 **WHO WON?**

 **WHO'S NEXT?**

 **I DECIDE!**

 **MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!**


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